Writing sample

WALT:  Entertain

Description: We read the poem “My Remarkable Journey” which inspired us to write our own remarkable journeys about why our homework wasn’t at school today.

I woke up extremely early so I can finish my home work well start to study it and I am studying on cat's yeah.‘‘cat's those horrible creatures they bite and scratch you’’ I said .It's midnight and I'm working on my last weeks homework it's the worst I do get used to it Though and I am going to the airplane and I'm in USA now we are in the airplane to get home on the way. Were now safely home I get to school in my new super speedy scooter  as you can see I am into science and construction not homework really. I am almost there on my super duper scooter it has super speed. Now I am there at school done every thing I need to do. No the bell just rang Ringggggggggg. Everyone screams “AAAAAHHHHH” well not me I just got to class as soon as possible really.“Oh no my homework I completely forgot about it darn it”. I said  M.r coffee cup said angrily.where is your home work.well you know how I haven't been here for a couple weeks and I just got here today and the plane crashed because there was a heap of fog and then the plane crashed in Auckland we had to walk in mud and and step on rocks and other stuff like that to get to the airport and catch a flight over here so I can get to school.I was in a rush I completely forgot my homework for today I'm so sorry M.r coffee cup the end.

Criteria:

We decided that a quality piece of writing has the following things. Reflect on whether these things are in your story:

Introduction: It hooks the reader in the first few lines making them want to read more

Punctuation: Is your writing ready for a reader? Does your punctuation make it easy for them to read?

Short sentences: Do you create suspense by using these in your writing?

Onomatopoeia: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Alliteration: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Similes/Metaphors: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Evaluation:

1. What do you think is the best part of your story?When I forgot my homework.

2. What was the hardest part about completing this portfolio sample?Having to redo this over and over again.

3.  Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?Completing this sample on time.

Feedback: I like how you describe what cats are like 
Feedforward: I think adding a bit more detail to the rest of your story